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 Having A Mentor (or Sponsor)
 Selecting A Mentor From Our Community

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Administrator
Administrator

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Posted - 10/20/2007 :  16:50:51  Show Profile  Visit Administrator's Homepage
Dear Members,

I would like to ask your opinion about our community having "mentors" (or "sponsors" like they have in Alcoholic Anonymous).

MENTORS: PHASE ONE

In a few days, you will be able to ask another member to be your mentor. This mentor would then promise to visit your blog at least once a week to read about your progress and offer support.

Our concept was that:
  • Mentors wouldn't be therapists; instead, they simply would be other members you selected to help you.


  • Mentors wouldn't give you concrete advice; instead they would only tell you what helped them in similar circumstances to your own.


  • Mentors would be the same sex as the heterosexual member requesting a mentor (or the opposite sex for our gay/lesbian members). This would prevent any romantic involvements between members and their mentors.

MENTORS: PHASE TWO

We would like to have two levels of mentors: untrained and trained.

The "untrained" mentor would simply be someone in our community who you asked to help you.

The "trained" mentor would be a member of our community who has taken our special training.
  • To be "trained", the mentor would take our free online courses on bipolar disorder, depression and/or schizophrenia. (These courses will be available in one month.)


  • The lectures would be interactive and would quiz the student's comprehension of the lecture.


  • At the end of every lecture, the student would be asked to write a brief essay relevant to that lecture. The students would then discuss each other's essays.


  • Students successfully completing the course of lectures would receive the designation of being a "trained" mentor (for the illness they studied).
In this way, our community could graduate individuals who have specific training in helping others.

INTEGRATING YOUR BLOG WITH YOUR DIARY

In the next week, we will implement a new feature that integrates your blog with your diary. (The diary is part of our paid subscription service described at www.mytherapy.com)

Our hope is that integrating your blog with your diary will help your mentor better understand your daily progress.

YOUR FEEDBACK WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED

We are happily programming this new software, but we desperately need your feedback.

What do you think about this proposal?

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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Niney
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

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Posted - 10/21/2007 :  13:21:13  Show Profile
Dr. Long,
I like the original idea of mentors because I have seen it be helpful in other venues.
The concern I have about the trained mentors is that people might have unrealistic expectations of them. I would be afraid that these people might be put into situation that they are not equiped to handle. So I guess that strict guidelines would have to be put in place and hopefully people would read the guidelines.

Niney

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
-- Angela Monet
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Administrator
Administrator

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Posted - 10/21/2007 :  15:30:57  Show Profile  Visit Administrator's Homepage
You're Right Niney,

Our community will have to have clearly defined guidelines for mentoring.

The amazing thing about the 12-Step self-help groups (e.g., Alcoholic Anonymous) is that there is no formal training for being a "sponsor" (= mentor); yet their sponsorship system seems to work very well.

The reason we want to adopt mentoring is that two-thirds of individuals with severe mental illness never seek treatment. There must be some way, using the internet, that we can reach out to those individuals who prefer to remain anonymous. That is why we are so attracted to the idea of one anonymous community member helping another. Both member's privacy then would be protected.

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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dizzydean
Super Member (250+ posts)

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Posted - 10/21/2007 :  18:08:46  Show Profile
Maybe the 'guidelines' should be included in the training, involving specific things one must do in case of certain circumstances, such as someone stating they are suicidal or wanting to go off of their meds.

Dizzy

People with mental problems are our neighbors. They are members of our congregations, members of our families; they are everywhere in this country. If we ignore their cries for help, we will be continuing to participate in the anguish from which those cries for help come. A problem of this magnitude will not go away. Because it will not go away, and because of our spiritual commitments, we are compelled to take action.

~Rosalynn Carter
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Administrator
Administrator

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Posted - 10/23/2007 :  23:22:52  Show Profile  Visit Administrator's Homepage
Dear Members,

What Should Our Guidelines For Mentors Include?

So far, I agree that our guidelines for mentors should include:
  • What to say if the member is suicidal.


  • What to say if the member wants to go off his/her medications.


  • What to say if the member wants to meet you in real life.


  • What to say if the member wants to give you intimate details of their sex life or fantasies.
What other topics should our guidelines for mentors cover?

How Long Should The Mentoring Last?

I wonder if members should cycle through different mentors (say every 2 months) so that can meet new mentors and get new viewpoints?

The average duration of psychotherapy is approximately 2 months (since people leave of their own accord at about that point). So should the average duration of one member-mentor "contract" last only 2 months? In this way, both member and mentor have a polite way of ending the mentoring on a previously agreed to date.

Mentoring could greatly strengthen the bonds between our members. Thus having 6 mentors a year (each for 2 months) could increase the number close bonds a new member would have with our community.

In addition, rotating mentors every 2 months would prevent the development of excessive dependency on any one mentor. Also it could prevent "mentor burn-out".

Having Only One Mentor At A Time

I predict that there quickly could develop a "mentor shortage". That is why I would suggest that a member should have only one mentor at a time. Later, as more mentors become available, we could change this policy.

I would greatly appreciate your feedback on these suggestions.

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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Administrator
Administrator

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Posted - 11/03/2007 :  12:29:04  Show Profile  Visit Administrator's Homepage
Hi Randyj,

Mark has reviewed the excellent information you provided. We have come to the same conclusions that you have.

Thus, for the moment, all we can be is super-vigilant and closely monitor our community for sexual predators.

Given our technological vulnerability, I have taken the liberty of removing the detailed discussions you and I have had over this matter. Mark "didn't want to give anyone new ideas" in regards to this important security matter. Thus my apologies for deleting your highly informative posts.

Mark has come up will an interesting, almost nontechnical, potential "solution" to this problem. It is so simple, it just may work. We will see.

Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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spirit
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

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Posted - 11/03/2007 :  13:28:31  Show Profile
Just a simple question or two as regards mentor selection and adherence to guidelines:

1) How do we know the sex of a mentor or member?

2) How do we know the sexual preference of a mentor or member?

3) What if the mentor or member is bi?

Simple questions and I'm sure there is a simple answer but I can't find one.

Is it we can go swimming but not get wet?

Or, does it not matter and we are just avoiding legal issues?
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aquamarine
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Posted - 11/03/2007 :  14:17:16  Show Profile
Spirit,
I was wondering the same things. Also, what if someone is bi, gay or lesbian, but hasn't yet felt safe enough to "out" themselves?
...aqua
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RandyJ
Starting Member

9 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2007 :  15:27:15  Show Profile
Dr. Long

I have no problem with the removal of the posts. I was already sure that Mark would not want to explain potential security measures openly anyway. I shall go back to watching, absorbing, and hopefully learning about my mental conditions.

Perhaps the answer is as simple as making potential mentors apply to be one, and in so doing give full personal information to the administration and having them vet the mentors ensuring they are who they say they are and can control them if problems occur.

Anyway...no problem deleting my topic and the technical discussions.



Thanks Randyj,

I will look forward to your future posts. You really have helped our community!


Phil Long M.D.
Administrator

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Martha Jane
Starting Member

1 Posts
Gratitude: 2

Posted - 02/16/2008 :  15:30:55  Show Profile
Okay, I lives in Denmark and are Dane and I do hope that you do understand me. In Denmark we have different organizations and many of them got homepages and pages where you can write about problems, and if one that's read this know the situation this person helps the other, I have from time to time help them with their rights and it a good thing, right now there are a little group of people that in Denmark are organize a demonstration for better conditions for people with mental illness.
For my concern I do believe that many things should been seen at. there isn't never 2 people with the same diagnose that react on the same way.. never only give medication against the disease, As a relative with a mother that got depression, is the situation now that her medication is getting stronger but it won't help, because the reassion is some that medication can't help against.
First of all, relatives that lives with a person that got an mental illness, are needed help "social help", to take care of the person, at that life they lives, or it can end into compulsive hoarding as in our situation,
next some people are noisy people, they need a place where they can be this, other need a place where there are peacefully and not many neighbors
every one that has something to do with the person, need to work together, it does not help that a doctor tells that the person need something, and then nothing are being done. My mother came home from the mental hospital back in 98, many years after we read the papers, and found out that in those papers was writting that my mother was helpless, But because my mother was staying for under than 24 hours they didnt contact the social worker.
each year the "mental health day" are comming, and I miss things like:
how is it to been trown out of your home/arpartment because of Compulsice hoarding, what was the reasson?

how is it to live with a threat about you might being thrown out of the arpartment?
how hard it really is to live with a person with an mental illness, and what it cost in the social life,
compulsice hoarding CAN come after a depression and not nessercerly before.
I DO belive that us are long ahead but on the social, you can find help in Denmark, we got a law that is called the law of social service, this does that people with mental illness, can get help to live a "normal day" helping to make dinner, and thing that should be normal.
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davidt
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

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Posted - 02/16/2008 :  18:07:42  Show Profile

Happy Birthday Martha Jane!


Welcome to these caring communities of ours ... yours too, now that you are a member.

Your post is very informative giving those of us in other countries some insight into your health care system, and in particular mental health services.

I am sorry, to learn of your mothers difficulties, which as her carer you must find hard to cope with.

Yes, it is very helpful to have support/advice networks. Where would we be without charitable organizations. For there is often loop holes in state care systems as you rightly point out.

My Therapy, has comprehensive information on mental illness. However as we are a world wide community, it would be quite impossible to highlight care services on such a global scale country by country. However, members here do exchange with one another information pertaining to them. Just like you have shared with us here.

I hope you take the opportunity to scan the various notice boards and posts throughout the forums. You are most welcome to do so.

By the way, I am posting from England. My late Father was Danish and my mother Scottish. I hasten to add I speak no Danish unfortunately. It would have been nice to have replied to you in Danish.

Keep posting when you have the time.

I hope other members will respond to your post.


Yours in community friendship, David


These communities will work for you .... if you work for them!
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hasika
Full Member (100+ posts)

136 Posts
Gratitude: 2

Posted - 10/09/2008 :  17:07:48  Show Profile
Wow..This set up is way cool and I thought it was great the way it was! (0_~)/" I look forward to utilizing the site! Thanks!!!
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lastson
Starting Member

10 Posts
Gratitude: 2

Posted - 04/24/2009 :  18:25:11  Show Profile

I had been an Alcoholics Anonymus for 22 years and I had been just 7 years without drinking. Sponsors and sponsoring had been key to the level of recovery I had achieve.
Thanks for this opportunity Dr. Long.

lastson
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