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 out of control anger

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Posted - 08/31/2008 :  17:24:00  Show Profile bad is, when I was feeling very frustrated at my husband, I basically banged my head a couple of times into an upright standING fan. The fan was turned OFF, but the protective cover came off after I hit it with my head. Than when he started yelling and I was yelling ,I took a bottle of scope and kept repeatedly MOCK STABBING MYSELF IN THE STOMACH with it. I was yelling somehting aobut how I wish I could just kill myself. I can't of course but I was getting pretty wacky so my husband slapped my face hard to get me to stop acting this way. Other times when I've been mad I've hit him, not long ago, tried to kind of choke him while driving. I wanted to jump out the moving car after that but I can't ever seem to actually go through with the really crazy ****. TodAY AFTER MY first hissy fit, i went into the woods, I saw my husband looking for me and hid in a muddy ravine so he couldn't find me. He mentioned if I kept threatening to off myself, he'd call the cops and have me locked up for my own protection. I almost wanted the cops to come and search for me. But no cops showed up of course. I lay in the muddy ravine thinking about how I would elude them (the cops chase) like I'm in some kind of a movie. Anyway, This is one of what's becoming a monthly or so argument pattern. It's been going on betwen my husband and I for a while now. we talk divorce and than make up. Now i think he really doees see no other option but divorce. I feel like it's a bad movie sometimes. Don't get me wrong i'm NOT always pissed off and depressed, I also have some really good moments throughtout my days. Usually when I'm with my horses. sometimes with my husband. I sound craazy as hell and and people who know me see this positive go-getter person(except for my husband who knows i'm also turning into a wackjob.
so... what now?
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Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

9136 Posts
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Posted - 09/03/2008 :  13:57:23  Show Profile
Hi and welcome, Headbop.

What's your diagnosis?

Age: 32
Sex: female
working part-time, married
Diagnosed 1993, Bipolar I

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Starting Member

1 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2008 :  16:14:07  Show Profile
hey guys. i have anger/depression issues too. There is a great place that i think helps. You can express your anger and what bothers you with others and then ask advice from people coping with the same. Its also great i think to meet and relax with others and not just think about problems in life Its called check it out...its been good for me so far
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