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e-pea
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5919 Posts
Gratitude: 1353
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 Posted - 11/07/2008 : 05:35:21
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I didn't know whether to post this or not. And i didn't know where. So it's here.
When i as an adult woman get treated inappropriately by a man, I can size him up immediately and say "Well he's just a dink". I recognize that his advances are not my fault because we're equals, two peers, so I can look at him objectively and know when he's stepping over the line.
The same is not true when you're very young though. When you're young and someone older acts inappropriately, you figure it must be you because the only perspective you have of adults is that they're older, wiser and run the world. adults are like deities to young people.
maybe this is obvious to everyone but I'm just sort of figuring it out now. When i was quite young I had a relationship with a much older person that developed out of what might be considered inappropriate contact. I still haven't decided yet what i think of that. Anyway, while the relationship didn't do any harm really, it was confusing, like having a new kind of parent.. which was a little creepy in context. my parents knew it was going on but didn't discuss it with me.
Anyway, at the age i was, i still didn't understand how the adult world worked. So that put me at an immediate disadvantage. I felt obligated to the relationship, to some degree and personally responsible for its existece. Which isn't quite the case because he came on to me and i had certainly not noticed him that much before. But suffice it to say... I don't know. I never feel comfortable talking about these things around here because everyone has their own issues and i'm not trying to add mine.. just make a point. This isn't supposed to be a post about me but about the kind of power adults have over kids and teenagers.
Adults are assholes and kids should know that. It's not our fault when they behave like dinks. It's an illusion. They aren't perfect. We as adults are not perfect today. So they weren't perfect back then either, we just thought they were.
Black holes were created when God divided by 0.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.  |
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| loggedin
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3838 Posts
Gratitude: 2525
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Posted - 02/26/2010 : 19:18:59
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I can't let 620 reads and no replies become 621 reads and no replies, so here goes:
dink?
Let yourself believe that we are born innocent -Sarah McLachlin |
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| coconutvaper
Starting Member
18 Posts
Gratitude: 18
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Posted - 05/21/2010 : 10:16:46
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I agree. As children we don't know how it all works and we are not equal to those adults around us. This puts children at a severe disadvantage and often times, predators know that and use it to manipulate children.
I was the target of such a predator, who convinced me that my "relationship" with him was due to my actions, not his. He explained to me that I had led him on in such a way that I made him have to have sex with me. In my mind, he became the victim and I had done something bad to him. Poor guy.
Having sex with him was scary and painful, but it was the price I had to pay for using that poor man the way I had. I simply had to accept the consequences of my actions. I just considered myself very lucky that he wasn't going to tell my family what I had done to him. For months I did what I had to do so that at least my family would not know what a bad person I was.
That was 35 years ago and although I now know that my own innocence was used against me, I still feel guilty. I'm not sure how to overcome this.
I do know that it's important to teach our children the appropriate ways to deal with the potential threats of the world - to teach them without terrifying them or making the world look like a horrible, dangerous place. It's not easy to do, but so much can go wrong that we at least need to try. |
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| daviddcurtis
Starting Member
7 Posts
Gratitude: 4
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Posted - 05/10/2011 : 02:23:17
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I appreciate everyone post. I use an open mind when reading. I never had to deal with this but know of a few who did and it has all consumed them. Ya my folks could have been "dinks" so to speak but not pervs nor were their friends thank god. I was a complete door knob as a young man,but very respectful. Even if an underage? girl says yes it means NO!
David Curtis
Lynnwood,WA. |
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| U COSMIC GAL
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1380 Posts
Gratitude: 580
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Posted - 05/10/2011 : 06:41:18
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LOVE COS  |
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Ok. This might not be the right place...
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