Psych Community
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Nesie
Starting Member
1 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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 Posted - 07/02/2011 : 04:12:45
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Hello Everyone,
I'm new at this, and my daughter sent me this link to this website. I have high hopes that writing about my experience with a sociopath will help me find a release. Here goes....
I have just recently ended a 7 yr. relationship with a sociopath. Discovering what he really was has helped me to somewhat understand what I have been dealing with and why.
I have been mentally abused for 7 long yrs. No matter what I did was right in his eyes. I feel like he wanted me to fail at everything I pursed in life. I let him rob me of everything that I had. I was laughed at by him. There were never any comforting words said to me by him. I discovered that he was a porn-addict, and he told me that pornography makes him a man. This addiction got so bad that our sex life ended, and my self esteem dropped. I would find porno tapes, and signs of him playing with himself. I was also told that no man would ever want me. I tried over and over again to get him to at least confess and to stop. You know the first thing one must do is to confess the fact that they do have a problem. Then and only then can they get help. But, I could do nothing to stop him from doing the porno. He is a manipulator, and a habitual liar. He comes from a disfunctional family, and all of them have issues ranging from sexual abuse, physical abuse, and even alcohol abuse. He has turned his family against me, the people that he works with, and all of the other women that are suppossed to be just friends (right)! All of the lies that he has told me, and all of the broken promises. He lied to my daughters and my family too. Every word that comes out of his mouth is sacastic, he doesn't like being controlled, he is selfish and only looks out for himself and he will tell you that. He used me for any and everything he could use me for.
The final straw for me is when I caught him cheating with a 28 yr. old, and he is 52. My morals and values are different, nor was I raised like that. I have daughters a couple of years younger than that and this truely made me sick to my stomach. I have lost so much weight, couldn't eat or sleep. I had allowed myself to get so depressed that I became immobile. I lost everything I had, and I couldn't focus on anything but him. But you know what, he walks around happy and tells me that I depress him. Give me a break! I have cried so much that I am tired of crying. Nothing in the relationship was never discussed, because he refused to. No problem was ever resolved. If I brought up anything, I was quickly asked to leave. He actually wanted me to be his friend while he kept seeing the 28 yr. old. Wow!
I thank Jesus for giving me the courage and strength to move on, and to accept the things I can not change. I've often told him that, "he can't knock me down no further than my knees". I pray all the time, and I cry. I guess I stayed so long, because I thought he would change. A sociopath never changes by themselves. They can only change with Jesus's help. That is the ONLY WAY!!
Pray for me!
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| FLMgirl
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3712 Posts
Gratitude: 3064
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Posted - 07/24/2011 : 21:56:46
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Hi Nesie! Welcome to My Therapy! I am glad you found this
site, and hope you will find everything you need here. You
are welcome to post anywhere. This is a large site with a
lot of information, plus support from others.
Just to let you know, there is a forum here for dealing
with psychopaths. You can get to it by going to 'what's new'
on the menu in the upper left corner of the site. Then, there
will be a menu, more in the middle, with the different com-
munities/forums. And there you you will find 'Support for
Surviving a Psychopath'. There you will find many others
who have been through what you have been through and
can offer great support.
Definitely, Praise God for helping you survive and get away
from this so called human. You are a strong woman to have
done so, and I pray you continue to heal and grow.
FLMgirl
It is what it is...but I'm trying to make it better! |
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| yinyang
Super Member (250+ posts)
370 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 07/25/2011 : 23:05:35
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| Hey Nesie, welcome to MyTherapy, I hope you find this community helpful and supportive. It sounds like you have been through a lot and now is the time to start the healing process. It may take time and a lot of tears but you'll get through this. What matters is that you are out now, you don't have to endure his behaviour in your life anymore. Get through whatever seperation or divorce stuff you have to go through with the knowledge that afterwards you'll never have to deal with him again. He will never change but at least now his horrible behaviours won't affect you. Hang in there and stay strong |
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