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Mike412
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Posted - 10/23/2011 :  10:17:50  Show Profile
*Yeah alright you might like some of these some you might not, tried to come up with ones to appeal to different kind of people take your pick or whatever

All you need is love inless your broke

Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant

Great minds think for themselves

Everyones memory is their own private literature

Beauty sees not with the eyes so much as the mind

Never mistake genius for lack of talent

A fool can ask more than any wiseman can ever answer

Maybe ignorance is the root of all evil and no one knows the truth

Laugh when you can it is the cheapest medicine

When anger rises think of the consequences

Love is just a word until you find someone to give it definition

The hierchy of power dictates that in any endeavour the one who holds the most power does the least work while retaining the highest benefit

Maybe God does answer my prayers he just says no

I never let school get in the way of my education

Sex without love is an empty experience but as empty experiences go it's the best

Happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life

When the individual feels the community reels

People hear only what they understand

You can change without conforming

Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination

Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me

You cannot see the present if your staring into the past, you cannot have a past without having a present and you cannot plan the future by the past

You can chain me,you can torture me,you can destroy this body but you will never imprison my mind

You don't have to be sick to get better

Your damned if you do and your damned if you dont

If you want something done right youve gotta do it yourself

You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries

The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted and always derided as fools and madmen

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe

When 2 egotists meet it's an I for an I

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

If a man does his best what else can he do?

If everyones thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking

I don't measure a mans success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom

Live for something rather than die for nothing

Look out for bad apples masquerading as oranges

If you ate today thank a farmer

You'd be surprised how handy a command of basic literary skills can be

I'm not a sellout because I haven't found anyone interested in buying yet

How come even in my fantasies everyones a jerk?

Too many people not enough evacuation routes

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere

I intend to live forever or die trying

Quote me as saying I was misquoted

May you live as long as you want to and want to as long as you live

Willful waste makes woeful want

If you lend a friend $20 and you never see them again it was probably worth it

When they have a brainstorm it's a light drizzle

I've always said technology not the dog is mans best friend

I wonder where you tell someone to go when your in hell

He who laughs last probably didnt get the joke

If you don't pay your exorcist you'll get repossessed

I am a man who has been sinned against more than has sinned

Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives

That people don't learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach

A cult is a religion with no political power

Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs

If you are lucky enought to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it

Absolute power corrupts absolutely

It is no coincidence that the symbol of a bishop is a crook and an archbishop a double cross

If you want peace you must prepare for war

Every person has a gift and in that gift lies their destiny

Curiousity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back

There is no remedy for love but to love more

You know your in a bureaucracy when 100 people who think A get together to compromise on B

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brenda75
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Posted - 10/23/2011 :  10:33:36  Show Profile  Visit brenda75's Homepage
Some good ones in there Mike. Thanks for sharing.

Brenda

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves-to get well and move on.
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Mike412
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Posted - 10/25/2011 :  18:25:44  Show Profile
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few

Now the world dont move to the beat of just one drum what might be right for you might not be right for some
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davidt
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Posted - 10/25/2011 :  18:35:01  Show Profile

Superb Mike...

I endorse Brenda's remarks,David





Life is shaped by the people we meet and navigated by the stories they tell...
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davidt
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Posted - 10/25/2011 :  18:36:37  Show Profile

Keep them coming!





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davidt
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Posted - 10/25/2011 :  18:59:27  Show Profile
...my all time favorite neurotic!




Woody Allen quotes...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

- More quotations on: [Trees]
Eighty percent of success is showing up.

- More quotations on: [Success]
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

- More quotations on: [Atheism]
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

I am at two with nature.
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

- More quotations on: [Music]
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

- More quotations on: [Death] [Immortality]
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

- More quotations on: [Marriage]
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

- More quotations on: [Atheism]
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

- More quotations on: [God]
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.





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Mike412
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Posted - 10/25/2011 :  20:55:12  Show Profile
Groucho Marx Quotes

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it.

I intend to live forever or die trying

I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I'm not feeling very well-I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution

No man goes before his time-unless the boss leaves early

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies

Quote me as saying I was misquoted

She got her looks from her father, he's a plastic surgeon

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you've got it made.

Those are my principles and if you don't like them...well I have others
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davidt
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Posted - 10/26/2011 :  10:01:54  Show Profile
Funny Quotes about Life

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

It is better to be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain





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Mike412
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Posted - 10/26/2011 :  10:45:56  Show Profile
Daria Morgendorffer

Jane:Daria the neighbours are starting to talk
Daria:Good soon they will progress to cave drawings and civilization will be on it's way

I didn't even like kids when I was a kid

I had come to the realization that given the choice between sharing shelter with my fellow students or marching blindly into a blizzard possibly facing certain death it was blizzard ho' for me

I can't believe your trying to bribe me...with singles!

Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough it's almost like depth

Don't worry mom their wrong it's a mistake I don't have low self esteem I have low esteem for everyone else!

I'm not miserable I'm just not like them

Stand firm for what you believe in until and inless logic and experience prove you wrong remember when the emperor looks naked the emperor is naked the truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing and theres no aspect no fascet no moment of life that cant be improved with pizza

People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat

Psychologist:Daria tell me what you see in this picture
Daria:A herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains
Psychologis:umm there arent any ponies it's 2 people
Daria:Last time I took one of these tests they told me they were clouds they said they could be anything I wanted
Psychologist:That's a different test dear in this test they are people and you tell me what their discussing
Daria:Oh I see alright then it's a guy and a girl and their discussing a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains

Teacher:Daria can you consisely and unemotionally sum up for us the doctrine of manifest destiny?
Daria:Manifest destiny was a slogan popular in the 1840's it was used by people who claimed it was God's will for the US to expand all the way to the Pacific ocean these people did not include many Mexicans
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davidt
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Posted - 10/26/2011 :  19:21:38  Show Profile

Time Quotes


And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh, to estimate, to total?
Tillie Olsen

Both young children and old people have a lot of time on their hands. That's probably why they get along so well.
Jonathan Carroll

But time growing old teaches all things.
Aeschylus

By the time we've made it, we've had it.
Malcolm Forbes

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Ambrose Bierce

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
George Bernard Shaw

Finding some quiet time in your life, I think, is hugely important.
Mariel Hemingway

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
Doug Larson

I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.
Golda Meir






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davidt
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Posted - 10/26/2011 :  19:41:01  Show Profile

Humorous Quotes

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby
D





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davidt
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Posted - 10/26/2011 :  19:42:13  Show Profile


Love Quotes



A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

A kiss is a rosy dot over the 'i' of loving.
Cyrano de Bergerac

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
Rupert Brooke

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
Friedrich Nietzsche

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.
Stendhal

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
Honore de Balzac



Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
C. S. Lewis






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Mike412
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Posted - 10/27/2011 :  16:37:37  Show Profile
Following quotes by Confuscius,HG Wells and whoever

Every man dies not every man truly lives

without followers evil cannot spread

he who pays the piper calls the tune

dont do the crime if you cant do the time

he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat

remember what the doormouse said feed your head

knowledge is power

beware the young doctor and the old barber

violence isnt always evil whats evil is the infatuation with violence

it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop

do not look down on anyone inless you are helping them up

wheresoever you go, go with all your heart

our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall

without feelings of reapect what is there to distinguish men from beasts?

we should feel sorrow but not sink under its oppression

do not impose onto others what you yourself do not desire

the real fault is to have faults and not to amend them

to love a thing means wanting it to live

he who will not economize will have to agonize

when anger rises think of the consequences

it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

there are no atheists in foxholes

emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourself can free our mind

you know the day destroys the night, night divides the day, tried to run tried to hide break on through to the other side
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davidt
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Posted - 10/27/2011 :  17:14:27  Show Profile


Age Quotes

A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.
Maurice Chevalier

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

A man growing old becomes a child again.
Sophocles

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler

After you're older, two things are possibly more important than any others: health and money.
Helen Gurley Brown

Age considers; youth ventures.
Rabindranath Tagore

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
Jim Fiebig

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_age.html#ixzz1c1yEqcTf





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Mike412
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Posted - 10/27/2011 :  23:55:11  Show Profile
More Quotes from the Daria show

Daria's mom:You want to be a mortician? well...I guess your lack of interest in personal interaction makes you an ideal candidate for working with the dead, Daria have you given any thought to your career plans?
Daria:I guess I'll just wait around for people to kick the bucket
Daria's mom:I can't believe your not more ambitious!
Daria:So what do you want me to do kill people to drum up business?

Principal:Did you really think you were going to get away with it?
Jane:Well I guess it would be stupid to say yes now

Chuck:Where have you girls been all my life?
Daria:Waiting for you, we were born in this room,we grew up in this room and we would have died in this room alone if you hadn't found us

Darias sister:Don't worry mom it's not a real tattoo it's a fake
Daria:Awww you got a tattoo to match your personality

Darias dad:So how was your first day at your new school?
Daria:Well my history teacher hates me because I know all the answers but there are some interesting idiots in my class

Darias dad:So what did the councillor say?
Daria:He said that I should think back to circumstances that brought me happiness but I suppose Quinn(her sister)is here to stay

Jane:I had a bad experience on that hill with the girl scouts we kept marching and singing and marching and singing about some freak named john jacob jingle somebody

Daria:Jane on a school team that's pathetic, hey if she's the pathetic one why am I talking to myself and more importantly why am I waiting for a reply?

Daria:I almost killed a pigeon yesterday
Jane:Gonna work your way up to humans slowly huh?

Jane:Why settle for vanity when you can have pure egotism your a twisted little crueller arent you?

Darias mom:Do you always talk to the computer like that Daria?
Daria:Only when the toaster oven is mad at me

Daria:Is life always taudry,stupid and humiliating or it just a phase?
Darias grandmother:Just a phase I'm hoping to grow out of it any day now

Jane:By the way Daria anything eating away at your soul?
Daria:Her writings bad, don't people know the difference between good and bad?
Jane:She's cute, there's different standards for cute people
Daria:You mean no standards
Jane:Right
Daria:Isn't there anytime when how you look doesnt effect how your judged?
Jane:When you donate your organs inless it's your eyes

Darias mom:Of course it isn't easy raising 2 teenage girls alone...with Jake(her husband)

Darias sister:People are like so weird
Daria:Some are weird some are just astonishly self centered and deceitful

Darias sister:How will I hold my head up in the fashion club?
Daria:A traction pulley

Kevin:Alright! a field trip! where are we going?
Daria:The field
Kevin:Alright!!

Daria's dad:So how's that self esteem going kiddo?
Daria:My self esteem teacher says that being addressed all my life as child epithets like "kiddo" is probably the source of my problem
Darias dad:Oh no! really?
Daria:No

Kevin:Come on! let's play a word game
Jodie:Howabout geography?
Kevin:No you have to like know stuff for that, whatabout Monopoly?
Mack:Monopoly's not a word game
Kevin:I know that! Can I be the racing car?


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davidt
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Posted - 10/28/2011 :  12:33:46  Show Profile

Good Will Hunting is a 1997 film about Will Hunting, a janitor at MIT, who has a gift for mathematics, and a psychologist who tries to help him with his gift and the rest of his life.
Directed by Gus Van Sant. Written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
Wildly charismatic. Impossibly brilliant. Totally rebellious. For the first 20 years of his life, Will Hunting has called the shots. Now he's about to meet his match.



Will Hunting

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.... that's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. and somebody puts a code on my desk, something no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East, and once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hidin'- fifteen hundred people that I never met, never had no problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', oh, "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a ****. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot, just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie over there, takin' shrapnel in the ass; he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and of course the oil companies use the little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices- a cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, o' course, maybe they even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis an' ****in' play slalom with the icebergs; it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's outta work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the ****in' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids, and meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure **** it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected President.
[edit]Sean MacGuire

[To Will] So, if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo. You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that....If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably uh...throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, and watched him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I ask you about love, y'probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable...known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you..who could rescue you from the depths of Hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, n to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room for two months, holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms visiting hours don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you: I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a *****y, scared ****less kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. no one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and ripped my ****in' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a **** about that, because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some ****in' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
[Grabs Will by the throat when he insults Sean's dead wife] If you ever disgrace my wife again, I will end you. I will ****ing end you!
[edit]Dialogue

Chuckie: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
Clark: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities, especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist and...
Will: [interrupting] Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob’ly, you’re gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you’re gonna be talkin’ about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year, you’re gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin’ about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: [taken aback] Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of--
Will: ..."Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County," Page 98, right? Yeah I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us- you have any thoughts of- of your own on this matter? Or do- is that your thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage and then you pretend- you pawn it off as your own- your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?
[Clark is stunned]
Will: See the sad thing about a guy like you, is in about 50 years you’re gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a ****in’ education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.
Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: [smiles] Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.
Will: [about Skylar] Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's ****in' boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like ****in' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...
Will: [laughing hysterically] She woke herself up?
Sean: Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the **** I remember. [Will stops laughing] Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old ****er like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.
Will: Why not? You told me every other ****in' thing. Jesus Christ. ****in' talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.
Sean: I teach this ****, I didn't say I know how to do it.
Will: Yeah...You ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence the word: remarried.
Sean: She's dead.
Will: Yeah...Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
Sean: [smiles uncomfortably] Time's up.
Will: So, when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?
Sean: October 21st, 1975.
Will: Jesus Christ. You know the ****in' date?
Sean: Oh yeah. Cus' it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.
Will: Yeah, sure.
Sean: My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.
Will: You got tickets?
Sean: Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin' in a bar, waitin' for the game to start, and in walks this girl... Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.
Will: Yeah, yeah.
Sean: And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin' at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin' at the ball like a madman.
Will: Yeah, I've seen...
Sean: He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes ape****, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?
Will: Yeah, and he's ****in' bowlin' police out of the way!
Sean: Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get 'em away!" Banging people...
Will: I can't ****in' believe you had tickets to that ****in' game!
Sean: Yeah!
Will: Did you rush the field?
Sean: No, I didn't rush the ****in' field, I wasn't there.
Will: What?
Sean: No - I was in a bar havin' a drink with my future wife.
Will: You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?
Sean: Oh yeah.
Will: To have a ****in' drink with some lady you never met?
Sean: Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.
Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's game six!
Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...
Will: Oh my God, and who are these ****in' friends of yours they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh... They had to.
Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?
Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl."
Will: I gotta go see about a girl?
Sean: Yeah.
Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.
Will: You're kiddin' me.
Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.
[pause]
Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.
Sean: [shrugs sheepishly] I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer!
Executive 1: Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, we've already offered you a position..
Chuckie: Since this is obviously not my first time in such altercations, let me say this: [rubs thumb and fingers together, signifying cash] Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
[The executives are silent]
Chuckie: At the current time I am looking at a number of different fields from which to disseminate which offer is most pursuant to my benefit. What do you want? What do I want? What does anybody want? Leniency.
Executive 1: I'm not sure--
Chuckie: --These circumstances are mitigated. Right now. They're mitigated. [throws his hands up]
Executive 1: Okay...
Chuckie: [pointing to one of the executives] He knows what I'm talking about. A retainer. Nobody in this town works without a retainer. You think you can find someone who does, you have my blessin'. But I think we all know that person isn't going to represent you as well as I can.
Executive 1: Will, our offer starts you at eighty- four thousand a year, plus benefits.
Chuckie: [singing] Retainer... [softly] retainer.
Executive: You want us to give you cash right now?
Chuckie: Whoa-oh-oh... ea--now I didn't say that. Allegedly, your situation--for you--would be concurrently improved if I had two hundred dollars in my back pocket right now.
[The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.]
Executive 1: Well, I don't think I...Larry?
Executive 2: I've got uh... seventy-three dollars
Executive 1: Will you take a check?
Chuckie: [to Executive 1] Let me tell you something. You're suspect. [He stands, slowly approaches Executives.] Yeah, you. I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the **** you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you [Takes money off the table]. Now the business we have heretofore you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.
Skylar: Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared ****less to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta' change.
Will: Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have you fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.
Skylar: Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your **** on me when you're the one that's afraid.
Will: I'm afraid? What am I afraid of? What the **** am I afraid of?
Skylar: You're afraid of me! You're afraid that I won't love you back! **** it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you.
Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner, Kant, Pope, Locke...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.
Sean: Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. You'll never have that kind of a relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road.
Chuckie: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll ****in' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll ****in' kill you.
Will: What the **** are you talkin' about?
Chuckie: Look, you got somethin' that none of us-
Will: Oh, come on! Why is it always this, I mean, I ****in' owe it to myself to do this or that? What if I don't want to?
Chuckie: No. No, no, no. No, **** you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this ****. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a ***** to cash it in. And that's bull****. `Cause I'd do anything to ****in' have what you got. So would any of these ****in' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a ****in' waste of your time.
Will: You don't know that.
Chuckie: I don't?
Will: No. You don't know that.
Chuckie: Oh, I don't know that? Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. You know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.
Will: [Sean is going through Will's profile. Inside we see are pictures of Will after brutal assaults by his foster parents] You ever have any, uh, experience with that?
Sean: Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful ****.
Will: No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?
Sean: Personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.
[Sean looks away for a moment]
Will: I'm sure it ain't good.
Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean ****in' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to wail on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there Vanna.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause **** him, that' why.
Sean: Your foster father?
Will: Yeah.
[pause]
Will: So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?
Sean: Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?
[Will shakes his head, stares off]
Sean: Will, you see this, all this ****?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It's not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know...
Sean: No you don't. It's not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It's not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: [steps closer] It's not your fault.
Will: [Will's eyes open, misty already] Don't **** with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: [steps even closer] It's not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean's arms]
Will: [As he hugs Sean] Hey, does this violate the uh...patient-doctor relationship?
Sean: Eh...only if you grab my ass.
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