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Administrator
Administrator
15007 Posts
Gratitude: 3353
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 Posted - 04/04/2007 : 01:37:32
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Dear Members,
Many of you are members of other internet support communities. In order to improve our community, I would like to learn from you the pros and cons of membership in other internet support communities.
Thank you for taking time to respond to this important question.
Phil Long M.D.
Administrator 
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| Mystical Butterfly
Starting Member
43 Posts
Gratitude: 32
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 20:38:16
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Dr.Long,
I've found many support communities difficult to navigate through.
Some were very clicky, same members chatted with each other, difficult to enter discussions. Perhaps this was my own issue with
self-worth, but some were exclusive,
I did find some communities to be helpful, tips on copings skills, support groups for SI were generally good ones.
The communities I had the most difficulty with were those that were not facilitated or managed by a professional in some way shape or form. Some of the members, inappropriate language, talk of sexual encounters etc... made me feel very uncomfortable and at times sent me into flashbacks, hard to deal with. This is why I have decided to join only support communities such as this one that has someone who will stand up for those of us who are not strong enough yet to do it for ourselves.
Sorry I tend to ramble on.
Liette
Mystical Butterfly
Welcome to our community Liette,Thank you for your very helpful comments. We want our internet support communities to promote "sharing and caring". Initially, it was the hope that these communities could become self-governing and autonomous (like AA). Recently, I am having second thoughts about this. The larger, longer-lasting support groups seem to all have moderators who ensure that members abide by a common code of ethics. In that way, every member is ensured equal respect and rights. If you have any further comments on the pros and cons of internet support groups, I would appreciate hearing more. I hope that our community will provide you with the understanding and respect you deserve. Phil Long M.D.
Administrator  |
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| Mystical Butterfly
Starting Member
43 Posts
Gratitude: 32
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 09:54:54
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Thank you for your kind words.
I have already felt the respect
and kindness from some of the members
that you speak of. It is kind of
strange to have things in common
with so many ppl who are actually
talking about issues out loud!
I will definitely continue to add
to the pros and cons of other communities
as my very poor memory remembers them.
Nice to meet you,
Liette
quote:
Originally posted by PhilLongMD
Dear Members,
Many of you are members of other internet support communities. In order to improve our community, I would like to learn from you the pros and cons of membership in other internet support communities.
Thank you for taking time to respond to this important question.
Phil Long M.D.
Administrator
Mystical Butterfly |
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| stigmastomper
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
24351 Posts
Gratitude: 10921
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Posted - 04/16/2007 : 09:19:16
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dr.long the other site has a community for those who self injure.
if we have one i havent seen it and we have many members who struggle
with self injury,i would like to see a community for them here..
Hi Stigmastomper, Another excellent site, www.psychcentral.com has a forum for self-injury. Creating such a forum would prove to be very problematic for our support community. A self-injury/mutilation website requires very close psychiatric monitoring, or it can accidentally become a "pro" self-injury site (by publicizing this problem). Psychiatry has seen how the advent of fashion magazines dramatically increased the incidence of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia. Thus we have to be very careful about publicizing certain self-harming behaviors. That is why newspapers don't publicize reports of suicide (e.g., jumping off bridges etc.). Self-harm is one behavior that is socially contagious. Here is a very ancient example. In ancient Greece, one city was having an epidemic of young women committing suicide. The city leaders then enacted a law that decreed that all women who suicided had to have their dead naked bodies displayed in the marketplace. This law immediately stopped the epidemic of young women committing suicide. Here is a more modern example. In the Middle East, videos of the last goodbye message from suicide bombers are routinely broadcast on TV. This is purposely done to recruit new suicide bombers. This is an example of how publicizing suicidal behavior increases that behavior. Every psychiatrist wants to help individuals that are self-destructive. We just are very wary of public discussion of self-mutilation on the internet. However, we both should closely monitor how PsychCentral handles their self-injury forum. On the basis of their experience, our community may well add just such a forum in the future. Phil Long M.D.
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| stigmastomper
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
24351 Posts
Gratitude: 10921
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Posted - 04/17/2007 : 04:43:31
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thank you dr.long.
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| sine nomine
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/09/2007 : 12:30:27
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my experience with running the bodies under siege (bus) communities (there are both an email list and a very large web board is that the only way to keep things recovery-oriented and functioning as a useful adjunct to therapy is keeping a close eye on things.
the email list is relatively small these days and is watched by a team of moderators who intervene when the list rules are broken.
the web board (url in my profile) is quite large. i have a staff of 20-30 moderators and about a dozen administrators who read posts and keep an eye out for posts that fall outside the board guidelines and for people who are consistently having trouble staying within those guidelines. although none of us are mental health professionals, we are able to ask questions: what need are you trying to get met here? is there another way to get that need met? what's getting in the way of you staying within the rules? how can we help you do that? i hear you syaing x, but you're also saying y and that confuses me. can you help me understand?
it's a lot of work, but i think overall the board is an extremely helpful place for those who are choosing to learn how to live their lives without self-harm.
If you are not mindful, you will believe that your perceptions, which are based on prejudices
that have developed from the seeds of past experiences in your store consciousness, are correct.
When we have a wrong perception and continue to maintain it, we hurt ourselves and others. ...
We should always ask ourselves, humbly, "Am I sure?" and then allow space and time for our
perceptions to grow deeper, clearer, and more stable. -- thich nhat hanh |
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| Bailey
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2205 Posts
Gratitude: 587
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Posted - 05/09/2007 : 12:56:24
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Hi...and welcome.
I checked out your site for self harm. It looks good...and is probably a great resource.
Your rules are fairly straightforward...however I have a question.
Where you list that talk of suicide is not permitted. I am just wondering, what do you do if someone posts anyway? Do you just delete it? I am thinking that sometimes I have seen people post about the urgent desire to suicide...sometimes its even thinly veiled in a poem or a story. I think often..those posters are reaching out, maybe in the only way they can at the moment. It would scare me to think...that reach..would be disregarded...or the individual chastized.
Can you just clarify this for me? I could be reading it wrong too...this isnt one of my better days.
Thanks
Laurie
When we won't consider suggestions, we reject our own potential - but we have the right to expect people to be tactful.
Bill Blackman
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| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 952
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Posted - 05/09/2007 : 15:52:09
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quote:
Originally posted by PhilLongMD
Dear Members,
Many of you are members of other internet support communities. In order to improve our community, I would like to learn from you the pros and cons of membership in other internet support communities.
Thank you for taking time to respond to this important question.
Phil Long M.D.
Administrator
Hello Dr. Long,
I am a member of a childhood abuse survivor discussion forum. This is the second "survivor" forum I've joined. The first "survivor" forum was one I preferred, but I was banned from it due to using excessive emoticons, believe it or not. (I was invited to return to the forum I was banned from if I apologized for using so many of the administration-provided emoticons, but I chose not to apologize for my smiley usage).
The abuse survivor forums mentioned above both have administration staff made up of people who are not mental health professionals, --the administrators are survivors--(individuals who have suffered sexual abuse).
In my opinion, there are pros and cons to a site in which the head administrator is not a mental health professional:
Pro: Administrator can understand firsthand certain very specific experiences of members.
Con: Administrator is prone to inappropriate personal emotional reactions to member postings and concerns.
-EA
dx bipolar 1993 |
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| Bailey
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2205 Posts
Gratitude: 587
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Posted - 05/09/2007 : 16:59:21
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Hi
EA....I agree wholeheartedly with you. Having survivors as admins or mods is fine...because they do understand. However, you are so right. There own stuff will always play into what they say and do...its not possible for it to be any other way. Even with therapy...remnants of our past are always with us. It is for that reason I quit my work in counselling. I was not being as concious as I needed to about boundaries...mine or anybody elses.
Having a professional here...and one that is obviously healthy...is the best way to go. For me..its the only way.
Laurie
When we won't consider suggestions, we reject our own potential - but we have the right to expect people to be tactful.
Bill Blackman
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| sine nomine
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2007 : 11:34:50
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Bailey, that's a good question.
our policy on talking about suicide it that it's okay to post about wanting to kill yourself (and the feelings that go with that), but it's not okay to post suicide threats, suicide notes, or the like. the same holds true for self-harm; you can talk about wanting to hurt yourself, but you can't post describing what you're doing right that moment to hurt yourself.
part of the problem with letting people post suicide threats/notes is that you get a lot of "oh, please don't!" responses. that just reinforces suicide threats as a way of getting a need for validation met, and it's not healthy. the other part is that you get people posting "you're being manipulative and awful," and that just makes the situation worse.
i believe that self-harm, at base, is about an inability to get needs met in a healthy way. it's a desperate attempt to cope with overwhelming situations or feelings, and the feelings behind it are far more important than the actual self-harming act. that's why we don't allow pictures of cuts/scars or graphic descriptions of wounds or methods. it's okay to say that you hurt yourself much more badly than usual, but not okay to go into a description of what exactly you did and how you did it. if you focus too much on the physical aspect, you can avoid dealing with your feelings about it.
i'm working these days on writing a mission statement for the board. here's part of the first draft:
quote:
Self-injury is a learned coping behavior used as an ineffective means of dealing with unpleasant, difficult, confusing, or distressing emotions and situations. A self-inflicted injury is a chosen, purposeful behavior -- something done for reasons that make sense at the time. It fills a need. Recovery requires learning how to tolerate and express your emotions effectively. It's hard work, and the bus community exists so none of us have to do it alone.
That's it. Those five sentences influence every rule and guideline and moderator action on this board; they have shaped our community and hold it steady at the core. We reframe self-harm; instead of something tragic, it becomes a coping method that's messy and inefficient, one you can decide to change. Hurting yourself is not the worst thing you can do, but it's not very good at helping you get your needs met in the long term.
Welcome to our community Sine Nomine,I agree 100% with your guidelines, and we will adopt them in our community. You have obviously given a lot of thought to how you operate your support community, and we can learn a great deal from your experience. Great to have you aboard! Phil Long M.D.
Administrator |
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| Bailey
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2205 Posts
Gratitude: 587
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Posted - 05/10/2007 : 11:48:45
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Hi sine N
Given what you have just said...I think you have the makings of a great site. It only makes sense to not threaten suicide or self harm, however, I think I was trying to say, (in my unclear way) that often the threat is slightly hidden.
For example...I have read many a post, either a story or a poem, or just the venting of thoughts, that makes it fairly clear where the individual is heading. In this community I have never ever seen anybody post back, that the person is being manipulative etc. I think for the most part we take that very seriously. What seems to work for us, at least from what I have witnessed...is to offer up some loving and encouraging words. To share our own life experience, how it was..what we did etc. Then...and this is important, we make it clear that the person MUST seek professional help immediately. We also have a notify admin button and Dr. Long will reiterate those sentiments.
Could this be something you could consider? I think the people who would post negatively...are the ones who need to be, although not silenced...perhaps steered to a more tolerant path,not the one reaching out. Just my own thoughts.
Laurie
Laurie
When we won't consider suggestions, we reject our own potential - but we have the right to expect people to be tactful.
Bill Blackman
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| sine nomine
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2007 : 16:48:02
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i'm confused; from your response it seems as though you think people are not allowed to post negatively on bus and i'm hoping i didn't give that impression. people on the board are in all stages of recovery (and non-recovery); it's expected that people are going to post about feeling despondent or suicidal or angry or unsettled sometimes.
we don't really have that many rules about posting, and all of them come from our core beliefs abotu self-harm. no graphic descriptions of abuse or self-harm or sexual topics (you can mention these topics, just not in excessive detail), no descriptions of methods (you can say "i cut myself witha knife" but not give the whole macgyver'ed description of how you managed to hurt yourself with a buttercup and a child's block, or whatever), no suicide notes or threats, and no numbers (number of cuts, bmi, number of stitches, wound dimensions, weights).
if a topic falls within the rules but is heading toward unhealthy territory, gnereally one of the moderators or admins will join the conversation and steer it back in a healthier direction. witht he exception of the friends and family moderators, every member of the staff either has self-harmed int he past or is still struggling with self-harm. they're all volunteers, and they all know that they can take a break if they need to. we've got a pretty huge staff (i think 30 or so people) so if someone needs time off, others can pick up the slack. |
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| Bailey
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2205 Posts
Gratitude: 587
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Posted - 05/11/2007 : 05:57:54
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Hi
Thats why I asked the question....I was confused. Of course people shouldnt post pics etc. That is only common sense. I was just of the impression that they could not discuss suicide. LOL...which is why I clarified that perhaps I was unclear.
Thanks for answering.
Laurie
When we won't consider suggestions, we reject our own potential - but we have the right to expect people to be tactful.
Bill Blackman
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| sine nomine
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2007 : 08:00:00
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i really appreciate the feedback -- if the board rules are unclear, it's good to know. you've been helpful and i'm enjoying the conversation. thanks.
going back to the original question, it's possible to have a user-run self-harm self-help board and keep the social contagion under control (eating disorders are also contagious, and the something-fishy website does a great job creating a healthful community promoting ed recovery). i've heard from therapists who refer their clients to bus ass an adjunct to therapy, which reassures me that what we're doing is a useful thing. we're not perfect, but we (the staff) learn from our mistakes.
that's another thing about a user-run board. the staff have to be willing to admit to and make repairs for mistakes. it also helps to have a two-level (admins and mods) staff and to have a large staff so possible solutions can be discussed before action is taken.
i think it helps us to have a central person who is knowledgeable and stable and can make the final call on matters of policy. then we have admins, who are chosen from experienced moderators and who have an excellent grasp of the spirit and mission of the board. when i've had to be away from the board, the admins have stepped in and done an amazing job. nine times out of ten, they make the same call i would have in a given situation.
finally, there are moderators -- they also have an excellent idea of what we're trying to accomplish. they oversee individual forums ans experienced mods help train new mods. the staff as a whole works with users whoa re having trouble staying in the rules; we see banning as a drastic last-ditch solution.
deb
(btw, when i say we, i'm speaking for the staff)
If you are not mindful, you will believe that your perceptions, which are based on prejudices
that have developed from the seeds of past experiences in your store consciousness, are correct.
When we have a wrong perception and continue to maintain it, we hurt ourselves and others. ...
We should always ask ourselves, humbly, "Am I sure?" and then allow space and time for our
perceptions to grow deeper, clearer, and more stable. -- thich nhat hanh |
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| kathleenw
Starting Member
10 Posts
Gratitude: 8
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| DRR
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2007 : 12:03:52
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I actually don't belong to another community but I find this one very hard to find my way around.
Welcome to our community DRR,At the beginning, it is easiest to always click on the "COMMUNITIES HOME" gold button on the left upper corner of the screen. This will help you navigate more easily through our many communities. Clicking on the "WHAT'S NEW" button is useful for identifying the most recent posts. However, after reading the newest posts, you will want to click on the "COMMUNITIES HOME" gold button to see the entire website. I hope this helps. Phil Long M.D.
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What Are The Pros + Cons Of Other Communities?
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